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Smart Women Get Uncomfortable

August 21, 2008 | By Joy Chudacoff Leave a Comment

I’m 48 years old and I have never been on ice skates.  That is, until yesterday.  My 5½-year-old daughter, Jenna, has taken an interest in ice skating and I typically take her to the ice arena here in Park City where we are on vacation. I watch her skate while listening to the most incredible music they are playing on the sound system (CC Revival and the soundtrack from The Big Chill). 

Every time we go, Jenna always asks me, “Mom, when are you going to ice skate with me?”  And my answer has been, “Oh, maybe next time.”   Yesterday, Jenna asked her usual question and as I prepared myself to give her the typical answer, she quickly spoke up and said, “Mom, please, please, skate today!” 

I finally admitted to Jenna that I had never been on ice skates before.  Jenna’s answer:  “Mom, it’s easy—I’ll teach you!”  And so there was nothing left to do but rent the skates and prepare myself for what I thought would be a dreadful outcome.

My heart was racing as I approached the ice on unsteady skates.  Another woman could sense my apprehension. The absolute look of terror on my face was probably also a clue!  She shared with me that there was another entrance to the ice rink that had “wider rails to hold onto.”  And hold onto the rails, I did! Clutching every step of the way in the beginning! 

When you are faced with something new in your life, you have two choices:  Yes, to learning something new and getting out of your comfort zone; or No, I’m going to stay exactly where I am.  Being uncomfortable or unsure of yourself and your abilities is no fun. It holds the possibility of making mistakes that others can see and being unsure of the outcome—two things that we want to avoid at all costs.  Let me ask you a question: What is it costing you?  What is your unwillingness to explore and discover something new costing you along the way?  I can tell you that if I had not rented those skates and joined my daughter on the ice, the cost of not having the experience would have been high—possibly priceless.

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Smart Women Know “All About Me”

April 25, 2008 | By Joy Chudacoff Leave a Comment

This is a big week for my son Jack who is in first grade. It’s his “All About Me” presentation. We spent some time this weekend gathering all of the items that he believes are a representation of who he is right now. This morning, I was walking behind him and watching him carry his box full of items, head held high, proud of what he had chosen and really sure of who he is, right now, at age 7. It got me thinking about this exercise, “All about Me.” If I were to put my life on display today, what would be in my box? What would be proudly displayed on the table?

What I noticed in my son’s box, were not only hobbies that he’s interested in at present (baseball, Lakers cards, Harry Potter) but also past accomplishments (soccer trophies, art pieces) and photos of his family, including grandparents. This is a great exercise for all of us, no matter what age. Women’s lives are so busy today with many demands for our precious time. We typically make sure that everyone around us is achieving their dreams and goals—children, family, friends, co-workers, and community. We don’t have much time to get into that space where it’s “All About Me.” However, it’s essential that we do this, if we are to manifest our own dreams, take our own risks, meet our own challenges and create our legacy. In my work with women, one of the benefits they share over and over again, is that it gives them the space and creative environment to focus on their “All About Me.” It’s taking that time to learn what’s next for you and then making a plan to make it happen.

How about you? What would be in your “All About Me” display today? Would you stand back to admire all that you have accomplished? Would there be a representation of where you are going in the future? Are all of your dreams and goals represented? Is there something that you would like to include but have not had time to get around to it? If so, make some time this week to sit down in a quiet place, maybe with a cup of tea or coffee, a journal and a writing pen in your favorite color. Make it an “All About Me” hour or entire day! Ask yourself a few key questions. A wonderful question by a very wise and talented author, Parker Palmer, goes like this, “If your life were asking you a question, what would the question be?”

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