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Smart Women Think Like 10 Year Olds!

July 2, 2008 | By Joy Chudacoff 1 Comment

Do you remember what you were like at age 10? It’s right before our hormones kick in and societal expectations begin to manipulate our thinking. I remember when I was 10. I was outgoing, outspoken, with empathy and support for those in need. This got me thinking about becoming who we are authentically at a young age. We begin the process of “becoming” and then something happens along the way. Why?

I want you to take a moment now to picture yourself at age 10: What were your hobbies? What were you thinking? What stands out? I will share a very quick story with you about me when I was 10. It had a profound effect on the shape of my thinking, moving forward in my life. I had a friend, Kit Wilcox (not her real name) and she lived in a home that was not filled with love and nurturing. She had a step-mother who was quite beautiful. When you saw Kit’s step-mother and step-sister in the community, both of them were always dressed in beautiful clothes. However, Kit was not allowed these luxuries. Kit wore old, outdated and tattered dresses and old scuffed shoes to school every day. She was embarrassed and it affected the outcome of her day.

One day, I got this big idea that I would bring clothes in a bag each day to school and Kit would change quickly, before school started every morning and then again at the end of the school day, before she climbed on the bus to go home. Kit loved the idea and we pulled this off for what seemed like a long time (probably a week or two now that I reflect on it) and then we got caught. Kit missed the bus one day because she was changing clothes in the bathroom and she finally admitted to her step-mother why she missed the bus. Needless to say, we were all in the principal’s office the next morning. There was a rule that you could not share or exchange clothes with other children at school.

Smart Women Can Be Action Figures Too!

June 19, 2008 | By Joy Chudacoff Leave a Comment

In my Success Circles, women create vision boards which represent their big ideas, dreams and plans for living a life filled with energy, passion and purpose. I invite them to bring in favorite photos or magazines they enjoy reading, as possibilities for their board. This week, Dawn, a Circle member (and smart woman) brought in “The Big Book of Action Stickers.” It was a big colorful book filled with stickers for just about everything you can imagine from animals to people. As I flipped through the pages, it got me thinking about how simple it is to become who you want to be in the world.

Have you ever watched a child take an action sticker and place it somewhere on their body? They instantly become their version of who that sticker represents to them. When my daughter puts on a “Batman” sticker, you better believe that she is Batman. Same thing with Spider-Man (for those of you who know Jenna – she is not going to put on a Cinderella sticker!) Children have this incredible imagination that they can become anything they choose. My son Jack, will tell you with great confidence that he is going to be both a professional baseball and basketball player. You may be reading this and thinking, “Oh well, children have such a big imagination.” Yes, they certainly do.

Smart Women Plant Their Seeds

June 5, 2008 | By Joy Chudacoff Leave a Comment

Last Friday, my children and I went to an Eco-Fest at my son’s school. It offered creative ways to think about living organically and sustaining our planet. At one point my 5 year old daughter Jenna wandered to a booth a few feet away from me, and I noticed that she became very focused on what they were doing. Minutes later, she appeared with something wrapped inside recycled paper that she was carrying very carefully. “Look Mom, I’ve made a pumpkin plant. All we have to do is plant it when we get home and it will grow a pumpkin.” Jenna carried that recycled paper containing dirt and pumpkin seeds with such care for the rest of the afternoon. She was so proud and excited about what she had created, as well as the future when the seeds grow into an actual pumpkin.

This got me thinking about women in the world who are carrying their big ideas, dreams, and goals with them — have you planted them so they will grow, or do you continue to carry them around—possibly in recycled paper, or maybe in your mind?

Smart Women Paint Their Magic Circle

May 29, 2008 | By Joy Chudacoff 2 Comments

I took my daughter Jenna to her Karate class the other day, and after the instructor welcomed all of the children to the class he asked them to “paint your magic circle around you.” I sat there and watched a group of children take their hands and paint an imaginary circle around their bodies and sit down. This exercise was, of course, the instructors attempt to keep 12 five year-olds from running around the room doing things that weren’t meaningful, so that they could stay focused. This got me to thinking about how women “paint magic circles” around their lives as well.

Thankfully, women have a lot of choices in our society today. This can be both good and bad news. Why? Because we can do it all and we do it all very well. Sometimes I think we paint too many “magic circles.” We have the opportunity to fulfill many roles —wife, partner, mom, career, entrepreneur, daughter, volunteer, caregiver, friend—did I leave anything out? With so many responsibilities demanding our time and attention, we need to paint a magic circle called “magic circle for me.”

Given all that we do, we rarely take the time necessary for ourselves. It’s crucial that you paint a “magic circle” that is just for you, because you need a place where you can sit and reflect. A magic circle where you can sit and think about where you are right now and where you might want to go next. Sometimes we have “magic circles” where the paint is old, chipped and faded. It’s time to let go of that magic circle and create a new one. Remember, it’s magic, it’s imaginary—you can change it if you want to. Here’s the problem with this sometimes.

Smart Women Get Back On the Pogo Stick

May 8, 2008 | By Joy Chudacoff Leave a Comment

The other day as we were driving to school, my daughter Jenna boldly stated, “Mom, for my birthday, I want a Pogo Stick.” This statement made me curious so I asked her, “Jenna, why do you want a Pogo Stick?” Jenna’s reply was “Mom, it’s easy. You just get on, fall off, get back up, and get on again. Then you learn how to do it.” Very true, my adventurous 5- year old. As we continued down pacific coast highway, this answer got me thinking about achieving goals and dreams and the process we need to go through before really making the impossible possible in our lives.

There are times when we have a big idea or goal and we might take a step toward making it happen. However, we will often come across a challenge or obstacle that stops us in our tracks. Unfortunately, we may give up on our goals, without getting back on our “stick.” Didn’t we all go through this process, as kids, learning how to ride a bike without the training wheels — lots of skinned knees!?

Smart Women Know “All About Me”

April 25, 2008 | By Joy Chudacoff Leave a Comment

This is a big week for my son Jack who is in first grade. It’s his “All About Me” presentation. We spent some time this weekend gathering all of the items that he believes are a representation of who he is right now. This morning, I was walking behind him and watching him carry his box full of items, head held high, proud of what he had chosen and really sure of who he is, right now, at age 7. It got me thinking about this exercise, “All about Me.” If I were to put my life on display today, what would be in my box? What would be proudly displayed on the table?

What I noticed in my son’s box, were not only hobbies that he’s interested in at present (baseball, Lakers cards, Harry Potter) but also past accomplishments (soccer trophies, art pieces) and photos of his family, including grandparents. This is a great exercise for all of us, no matter what age. Women’s lives are so busy today with many demands for our precious time. We typically make sure that everyone around us is achieving their dreams and goals—children, family, friends, co-workers, and community. We don’t have much time to get into that space where it’s “All About Me.” However, it’s essential that we do this, if we are to manifest our own dreams, take our own risks, meet our own challenges and create our legacy. In my work with women, one of the benefits they share over and over again, is that it gives them the space and creative environment to focus on their “All About Me.” It’s taking that time to learn what’s next for you and then making a plan to make it happen.

How about you? What would be in your “All About Me” display today? Would you stand back to admire all that you have accomplished? Would there be a representation of where you are going in the future? Are all of your dreams and goals represented? Is there something that you would like to include but have not had time to get around to it? If so, make some time this week to sit down in a quiet place, maybe with a cup of tea or coffee, a journal and a writing pen in your favorite color. Make it an “All About Me” hour or entire day! Ask yourself a few key questions. A wonderful question by a very wise and talented author, Parker Palmer, goes like this, “If your life were asking you a question, what would the question be?”

Smart Women Give Themselves Permission

April 10, 2008 | By Joy Chudacoff Leave a Comment

Recently, I was having a conversation with a woman when she asked me a crucial question: “What are the steps I need to take in order to live a life filled with passion and purpose?” It’s really a 3 part process. When a woman is ready to create her own extraordinary life, she needs to first decide what she wants. Then she needs to decide how she wants to design her life. Finally, she needs to give herself permission to have the life she has chosen. It’s essential that she believes that she deserves to have the life she chooses. If you decide what you want your life to look like but do not believe that you should really have it, then your “dreams” will never become a reality.

My work is designed to support women in their journey to living their own extraordinary life. Years ago, I knew that I wanted to make some big changes in my own life. I had to first decide what I wanted. Then I had to design my life how I wanted it to be. Lastly, but crucial, I had to give myself permission to create this new way of being. You have to believe it so you can ask for it.

Smart Women Keep Their Inner Door Open

April 3, 2008 | By Joy Chudacoff Leave a Comment

Our family went to the Santa Barbara Zoo this past weekend. I love this zoo because it’s not overwhelming (you can see everything in about 2 hours) and Santa Barbara is a favorite spot of mine to relax. When we entered the exotic birds area, a sign on the door read, “For the safety of our birds, please close the inner door before opening the outer door.” That really made me chuckle. I thought, “Well, I don’t think the women will have too much trouble remembering this!”

What do I mean? Many women keep their inner door closed tight with a double-bolt lock on it and have misplaced the key to open it. What inner door am I referring to? The one that leads to our inner thoughts…our inner life. Yes, you do have an inner life. It’s that voice of intuition and deeper knowing that we all experience. It speaks almost in a whisper so that we can barley hear it. Why? Because the outer door…our outer life, is wide open. It lets everything in; the noise, traffic, emails, cell phones, iPods, co-workers, never-ending meetings, grocery shopping, homework, community volunteer work. Have I covered it all? How could you possibly have the time to locate the key and then get the door open on your inner life when the outer life demands so much?

Smart Women Are Great Gardeners

March 27, 2008 | By Joy Chudacoff Leave a Comment

As I was unpacking a box in our new house the other day, I found a beautiful drawing that my son Jack had done when he was in Kindergarten last year, in the spring. It’s 4 pieces of paper layered together with drawings and these 4 words: seed, roots, stem, flower. There is a lot of sunshine and rain above to illustrate how growing something meaningful needs both. When Jack saw it, he immediately began to explain to his younger sister Jenna how this works. “You plant a seed, give it water, then a root grows, then a stem and then you have a flower one day.” Wow, if only it were that simple!

Realizing a big idea, dream, or goal is a lot like planting a seed in your garden. The first step is to decide which seed (idea) you want to plant. There are so many choices. Which one seems to be the perfect fit for you right now in your life? After you decide what seed you want to plant, you need to learn about that seed and how it needs to be cared for to get the best results.

Smart Women Rarely Hallucinate

February 25, 2008 | By Joy Chudacoff Leave a Comment

Albert Einstein said, “Vision without execution is merely hallucination.” The first time I read this, I thought it was so powerful and spot on. Since the beginning of the New Year I’ve been writing about taking risks, realizing your dreams and goals, and taking inspired action on your big idea. I’ve been expressing the idea that you need to create the space in your life to explore and discover what’s next in your life’s journey. How is that going for you? Have you landed on where your energy and passions are at this time in your life? Do you have a big idea that’s calling out to you? Do you have a vision of what it looks like?

How many times a day do you see a new product or concept and say, “I thought of that idea a long time ago.” Or, how often do you have a new idea or a better way of doing something and you say, “As soon as I can find a pen and paper, I’m going to write that down.” And then what happens? You get stuck at the grocery store, kids baseball, meeting with a client, and forget about it. Or you remember after a long day of being a wife, mom, business woman, and community volunteer and you say, “Oh, it wasn’t such a great idea, forget it.”

How do I know this happens? Ladies, I’ve lived it many times! I became so frustrated over the years of having this happen to me that I created the Big Idea book concept. This has helped me to act on my vision and execute at a faster pace. The Women in my Success Circles use this regularly to make sure that they never lose a creative thought or idea on their journey to their own passion and purpose.