Smart Women Smart Solutions | Helping women create an extraordinary life
Last week, after my husband Greg read my article 
“Smart Women Are a Lot Like Rocket Ships,” he had an interesting question: He said, “Every week you write about the same thing–making your Big Idea happen, Reaching your Goals and Dreams, getting the right support, blah, blah, blah… when are you going to write about something else?”
Being a woman who encourages new ideas and new perspectives, I went to take a bubble bath (a nightly self-care ritual!) and reflect on his question.
This morning, as I sit here at my desk looking out the window at a beautiful, ![11-12-09Article[2]](http://smartwomensolutions.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/11-12-09Article2-Joy-with-husband1.jpg "11-12-09Article[2]")
sunny fall day, I’m a bit at a loss on how to begin this article. This article isn’t any different from the others I share with you each week. As usual, it’s about my own life and the reflections that I believe are helpful to other Smart Women. This article is about loving deeply, giving gifts and feeling fear along the way. Sounds like something all women deal with—yes?
Over the last few months, I’ve been going through testing at UCLA Medical Center here in Los Angeles to determine if I might be a possible match to donate one of my kidneys to my husband, Greg. Greg has Polycystic Kidney Disease and one of the affects is possible kidney failure over time. His kidney function has steadily been declining and we’ve known for some time that this day would come. What we didn’t know until now, is that I am, in fact, a match! On Tuesday, December 1, we will go together to UCLA Medical Center where I will undergo a procedure to remove one of my healthy kidneys and Greg will receive that kidney so he can feel healthy, energetic and enjoy life to the fullest once again.
Why do I tell you this story? Because what I’m going through right now holds many similarities for women. Women love. Women give. Women have fears. Some days I want to go jump in my bed, pull the covers over my head, go to sleep and wake up to realize that this has been a bad dream. Do you think I’m scared? You bet. Do I have anxiety? Of course. Will I feel the fear and do it anyway? Absolutely. How do you feel the fear and do it anyway? I’m sure, as you are sitting here reading this, you are thinking about some fears that you have, right? And it’s possible that you haven’t been able to overcome that fear yet.
Yesterday, when I picked my daughter Jenna up from tennis camp, she rushed over and handed me her uneaten snack and her nearly full water bottle, with a big smile on her face. I was surprised she hadn’t eaten her snack (after all, Goldfish is her favorite) and I couldn’t imagine her not drinking a gallon of 
water on this hot summer day! When I asked her about it, she exclaimed, “Mommy, I was having so much fun playing tennis I forgot to eat or drink!” Jenna was doing something that energized her. She found an activity that caused her to forget about everything. She was in her “flow.” This got me thinking about how Smart Women find their “flow” and live energetic, passionate lives.
When I was studying to become a Professional Certified Coach, I was required to read lots of books that were essential to my growth as a coach. I found one book in particular, Finding Flow: The Psychology of Engagement with Everyday Life (Masterminds Series)
A few weeks ago, my sister Rene and I had the opportunity to visit our Mom in Florida. It was a “girl’s getaway” filled with shopping, going to the beach, tasty food, wine and great conversation. Every morning we had a ritual of getting up, grabbing our coffee and heading out to the beach for a walk. On the first morning, I noticed a large, magnificent lighthouse that stood in the distance. Whether it was a bright sunny day or one surrounded by dark, gloomy clouds, the lighthouse was performing its job. In the top of the tower, you could see the bright light on a continuous turning cycle, reminding those at sea that a safe harbor and guiding light is close by if you need one. If you look the word lighthouse up in the dictionary, it’s a “tower or structure displaying a very bright light for the guidance of ships to help avoid dangerous areas.” This got me thinking about how Smart Women always need a lighthouse in their lives.
In order for you to realize your Big ideas, dreams and goals, you need to have a “beacon of light” in your life. Having a “lighthouse” can help you navigate “troubled” waters and avoid a possible dangerous situation along the way. I’ve shared with you many times that I would not be where I am today without all of my coaches and mentors—my “guiding lights.” It has been a key factor in navigating my passionate, purposeful life.
“Troubled” waters come and go in our lives. Smart Women make sure that they have a safe harbor and a guiding light for these times to help them navigate a clearly thought out map on how to proceed or move ahead with clarity. I’m going to share a few ideas so that you can begin to think about creating your very own “lighthouse.”
Find a Coach – Nearly all of the successful, clear thinking people that I meet have had a coach at one time or another. They realize that living a meaningful life requires a thinking partner. Someone who can help them navigate their journey along the way, see possible danger, and help provide solutions to avoid these areas. Every year, I create time in my calendar and a place in my budget to have a coach help me navigate the year ahead.
Form a Mastermind Group – Bringing a small group of like-minded people together at a regular time each month is a wonderful way to provide that extra “beacon of light” in your life and others lives. I facilitate several Success Masterminds for Women here in Los Angeles and I’m a member of one myself. These groups provide an overall sense of clarity and positive action steps to move ahead. Make sure that everyone in the group is positive and intentional about their journey forward. Having a strong confidentiality policy is always wise.
How about you? Do you have “lighthouse” in your life? Do you have a person or group of people who champion you? Someone who offers a safe harbor where you can explore where you are now and help you navigate what’s next? Many women express that my Women’s Success Circles act as their “lighthouse.” The Success Circle creates a “safe harbor” where women can share their lives in a non-judgmental, confidential setting.
One morning, we went out for a walk and the sky was turning dark and gloomy. The ocean waves were rough and the wind was picking up. In the distance I saw boats being guided by the lighthouse to make it back safely to the harbor. Whether your life is in a positive, upbeat phase or possibly times of “troubled” waters, Smart Women know they must have a “lighthouse” in which to turn.
Anything is possible. Everything is waiting for you.
****
© 2009 Joy Chudacoff
WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it: Joy Chudacoff, ICF, PCC, is the founder of Smart Women Smart Solutions™, a Professional Certified Coach and Motivational Speaker. To read more articles by Joy and learn more about her Success Circle workshops, teleseminars or keynote topics, please visit her website, www.SmartWomenSolutions.com or contact Joy at Joy@SmartWomenSolutions.com.
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