We all have fear about something. Fear of heights, fear of snakes, fear of rollercoasters. Many times these fears are related to childhood. I’m fearful of snakes. It was a big deal in our family when I was young. We lived on a farm in the mountains and in the summertime, my grandfather, “Pop,” would continually share with us the danger of snakes and to be careful at all times. You hear that “message” enough and your fear begins to grow. As a young woman, this fear began to alter my life experiences. For example, I would not go hiking with a friend on a hot summer day for fear of snakes. However, when my children got to the age where they wanted to go to the zoo, I had to face my fear. Why? My children do not know that I fear snakes. And guess what? I do not want to create that fear for them so I oblige them when they want to go to the “reptile center.” Do I feel anxious? Yes. But it’s something that I must move through.

Fear can affect your life in so many ways. One of the big “fears” is fear of failure. Fear of trying anything new because you are afraid it might not work out—you might fail. This is why many of us do not share our goals or even write them down on paper. I read an interesting study recently that only 3% of the population writes down their goals. Why? Fear. What if someone reads the paper and finds out you did not accomplish the goal? Fear is an emotion that we feel that appears to be real. This feeling can keep you trapped where you are in life. You can remain stuck in a place that no longer serves you. Fear can keep you from stepping into a place full of energy, passion, and purpose. It can hold you back from realizing your Big Idea, Dreams, and Goals.

How about you? Is there something that you dream of doing but you know that fear is holding you back? Do you get excited about taking action on a Big Idea only to talk yourself out of it with a fear-based conversation? One of my coaches shared with me, “If the desire is there, the how-to will come.” If you desire something new or different in your life, now is the perfect time to look that fear in the eye and really ask yourself on a deeper level if the emotion you are feeling is real. Here are a few solutions that can help you conquer your fear and step into your Big Idea, Dreams, and Goals:

1. Ask yourself this question: What facts do I have to support this fear becoming real? Where is the “truth” in this feeling of fear? See if you can find answers to support it. (My guess is you won’t—I’ve never been bitten by a snake.)

2. To help you overcome fear and believe in yourself, grab a pen and some paper. Write down all of the compliments that people have given you over the years. This is an exercise that I use every time I’m getting ready to step into something new in my life. I pull out all of the rave reviews that women have sent me and I read them. You will be surprised how powerful and “fearless” you become after doing this exercise.

3. Surround yourself with a group of people who are supportive. In my Women’s Success Circles, we call these people “possibility thinkers.” Spend time with those who can think in terms of possibility. Most negative thoughts and conversations come out of fear-based thinking. When you are stepping into your preferred future, you want to minimize contact with fearful, negative people.
It’s interesting where we find the lessons in our lives. I certainly did not think that it would be in my 8-year-old daughter’s backpack. Take a leap of faith and begin this New Year with belief in yourself. “Learn to relax and face fear. Trust in yourself.”

Anything is possible.  Everything is waiting for you.

*****
© 2011 Joy Chudacoff

 
WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it:  Joy Chudacoff, ICF, PCC, is the founder of Smart Women Smart Solutions®, a Professional Certified Coach to 1000’s of women, Motivational Speaker, and Entrepreneur.  She publishes a weekly buzz generating ezine, Reflections On Life and Business for Women Entrepreneurs.  If you’re ready take your life and your business to the next level, get your FREE Tips, FREE Report and FREE MP3 now at http://www.ProfitsWithPassion.com.

Over the last few months, I’ve been going through testing at UCLA Medical Center here in Los Angeles to determine if I might be a possible match to donate one of my kidneys to my husband, Greg. Greg has Polycystic Kidney Disease and one of the affects is possible kidney failure over time. His kidney function has steadily been declining and we’ve known for some time that this day would come. What we didn’t know until now, is that I am, in fact, a match! On Tuesday, December 1, we will go together to UCLA Medical Center where I will undergo a procedure to remove one of my healthy kidneys and Greg will receive that kidney so he can feel healthy, energetic and enjoy life to the fullest once again.

Why do I tell you this story? Because what I’m going through right now holds many similarities for women. Women love. Women give. Women have fears. Some days I want to go jump in my bed, pull the covers over my head, go to sleep and wake up to realize that this has been a bad dream. Do you think I’m scared? You bet. Do I have anxiety? Of course. Will I feel the fear and do it anyway? Absolutely. How do you feel the fear and do it anyway? I’m sure, as you are sitting here reading this, you are thinking about some fears that you have, right? And it’s possible that you haven’t been able to overcome that fear yet.

My definition of Fear is…
Feeling
Emotions
Appearing
Real

Because they are real—right? When you feel your own fear, it seems almost impossible to move through it. And this is what keeps you stuck and trapped.

What do you fear that keeps you from stepping into who you really are? Do you:

~Fear cultivating a loving relationship because of past hurt and emotional pain?
~Fear letting go of a relationship that’s toxic and no longer serves who you are?
~Fear leaving a job or career that you’ve outgrown long ago?
~Fear taking on the idea of starting your own business even though it’s always been a dream?

These are just a few of the “fears” that women may have at different times in their lives. Fear is natural, it’s healthy and it’s never going to go away. The key is to find solutions to “manage” your fear so that you can move through it. Fear is a natural partner to your creativity. Anytime you have a new idea (or in my case, a health crisis that needs to be handled) you have the opportunity to take the pieces of the idea or situation apart and make choices about how to move forward in a way that serves you and will be in your highest good.

Here are some of the ways that I’m “managing” my fear and doing it anyway:

1. Create an air-tight support system – I’m so blessed to have an amazing support system around me. By the way, it’s not by accident. I seek out positive, nutritious people to be a part of my life and my families lives. I’m intentional about decreasing the amount of toxicity and negativity in my life as much as possible.

2. Become “Curious George” – Recently, I had a very Smart Woman explain the difference between “healthy anxiety” and “unhealthy anxiety” to me. “Healthy anxiety” propels you into asking curious questions of people who can help you break down the fear barrier and move toward positive resolution. “Unhealthy anxiety” keeps you stuck and trapped—unable to move at all. Yes, I’m driving the doctors crazy with all of my questions and I’m sure my family is a little crazy with all of the planning I’m doing but it’s what I need to feel clear and calm.

3. Create a Vision of What’s Possible – Instead of focusing on the fear of not being able to do something, focus on what will be possible for you on the other side of the fear, once you conquer it and move through it. Think about how your life will open up to new beginnings once you take that first step.

What’s possible for me once my husband has a new, functioning healthy kidney? Our family can begin a renewed life and fully embrace living whole once again.

What’s possible for you once you feel your fear and do it anyway? Loving relationships, a Renewed life, a new business?

I share this article with you in the hope that you can take my current situation and look at your own life with a critical eye. Explore what’s holding you back in different areas of your life. Every time fear rears her head, use these solutions to help you move beyond your fear. I’m a woman just like you who loves, gives and feels fear…..and I’m doing it anyway. You can too.

Whether you’re donating a healthy organ to a loved one or making a decision to have more of what you want in your life and less of what you don’t, feel the fear and do it anyway. I’m doing it and you can do it too. I believe in You.

Anything is possible. Everything is waiting for you.

*****

© 2009 Joy Chudacoff
 
WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it:  Joy Chudacoff, ICF, PCC, is the founder of Smart Women Smart Solutions(tm), a Professional Certified Coach to 1000’s of women, Motivational Speaker, and Entrepreneur.  She publishes a weekly buzz generating ezine, Reflections On Life and Business for Women Entrepreneurs.  If you’re ready take your life and your business to the next level, get your FREE Tips, 2 FREE Reports and FREE MP3 now at http://www.ProfitsWithPassion.com .

My family is still in Park City having a great time. My daughter Jenna is taking ice-skating lessons. Her teachers name is Coach Kiwi (when she introduced herself, she added, “like the fruit”) When Kiwi gathered her 5-7 year olds around for their first lesson, here’s what she said: “You are probably going to fall down more than once but don’t worry, I’ll be there to help you get up and get going again.” When I heard this, I decided I could use a little more Coach Kiwi in my life as well!

Be sure to check out my One-Day Retreat Packages for women who are ready to get some one on one time with me. Imagine spending an entire day focusing on you and your Big Ideas, Dreams and Goals.

I’ve got some exciting news coming soon! I can’t share too much as things are still coming together but you can be sure that it’s going to be a new way to support you in taking your life to the next level!

One of the obstacles that holds us back from having what we want in life is fear. It’s that uncomfortable feeling that can sometimes keep us stuck. This week I’m going to share an article with you that I wrote some time ago about a situation that made me feel really uncomfortable. If you want to know how Smart Women Get Uncomfortable, don’t miss my article today!

Be well,

Joy Chudacoff, ICF PCC
Professional Certified Coach
Smart Women Smart Solutions
310-454-2005

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]]> http://smartwomensolutions.com/blog/hello-from-scottsdale-arizona/feed 0 http://smartwomensolutions.com/blog/smart-women-feel-the-fear-and-do-it-anyway http://smartwomensolutions.com/blog/smart-women-feel-the-fear-and-do-it-anyway#comments Fri, 01 May 2009 14:37:31 +0000 Joy Chudacoff http://www.smartwomensolutions.com/blog/?p=660 Recently, I took my son Jack shopping for a new baseball glove. The old glove was too small for his hand and his coach felt that a new glove might be just the thing that he needed. We both enjoyed looking through all of the gloves. He tried on quite a few (The smell of all that leather was so wonderful!). He finally found a glove that was a perfect fit and away we went. He just happened to have baseball practice next so I was excited for him to try out his new purchase. As we approached the field, I noticed that Jack was beginning to feel both anxious and excited at the same time. He wanted to use his new glove but that feeling of being “comfortable” with the old glove took over. The new glove was a n unknown to Jack, so his performance with the new glove at this point was uncertain in his mind. He knew what he could do with the old glove. This got me thinking about how Smart Women feel the fear and do it anyway.

So many times we hold on to things that no longer “fit” in our lives (a job, a relationship, a baseball glove!) with the thought process that it’s comfortable, it’s not perfect but it’s ok, when in fact, it does not fit who we are anymore. I’ve learned over time that it’s more important to “let go” than to try and “hold on” to what doesn’t fit or what doesn’t work in our lives. Why? Because until you “let go” and create the space for something new, it’s quite possible the “new” in your life won’t materialize—there’s no place or space for it.

In order for things to change in your life, you have to change. I had a mentor who always told me, “Change does not always mean success, but success always means change.” As a woman and entrepreneur, I’ve been at the crossroads of change more than once. For example, I gave birth to my second child at age 42, was in the midst of making a complete career change and birthing my Big Idea, Smart Women Smart Solutions. Was it scary? You bet. Was it worth it? Absolutely.

Have you been thinking about doing something new in your life? Do you have a Big Idea that you want to step into but fear of the unknown keeps you stuck right where you are in your comfort zone? If you answered Yes, then guess what? You are not alone. So many women visualize a dream or goal that they want to have happen in their lives. You see something that you want but instead of becoming a reality, it stays in the dream phase of your life. You get comfortable in that old way of being. You tell yourself, “It works, it’s reliable.” You begin to think about everything that might go wrong if you go for your goal or dream. Am I right?

Two days ago, we went to Jack’s first game since he acquired the new glove. He and I had spent time talking about his feeling comfortable using the new glove (He was still carrying his old glove in his bag). I could tell he was unclear about which choice he would make. I told him that he would know what to do when the time came. As I watched my son walk out to take his position in Right Field that afternoon, I noticed the new glove in his hand and my heart began to beat wildly. He looked over at me in the stands with a sort of question on his face. I gave him a smile and a nod. For a moment, that old fear crept up in me as well. Would he catch a fly ball with this new glove if it came his way? The game began. About halfway through the first inning, a boy hit a fly ball straight out to Right Field. My heart felt like it was coming out of my body. I held my breath. Guess what? Jack caught it! That was the 3rd out. My son came racing off the field, out of the dugout and came running up to me with what I think was the biggest smile he’s ever had! “Mom, did you see that!? It works! The glove works!”

Yes, of course I saw it. I knew it would work. Here’s what I know for sure: Jack needed to feel the fear and do it anyway. I need to. And you do too.

Anything is possible. Everything is waiting for you.

****

Copyright 2009 Joy Chudacoff

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEB SITE?

You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it:  Joy Chudacoff, ICF, PCC, is the founder of Smart Women Smart Solutions(tm), a Professional Certified Coach to 1000?s of women, Motivational Speaker, and Entrepreneur.  She publishes a weekly buzz generating ezine, Reflections On Life and Business for Women Entrepreneurs.  If you?re ready take your life and your business to the next level, get your FREE Tips, FREE Report and FREE MP3 now at http://www.ProfitsWithPassion.com.