In my work with women, one of the most essential exercises that we do together is peel back the layers of their lives and take a look at what’s working and what’s not working. It’s important to take a look at each layer and if necessary trim the excess so you can live each day doing what’s most important to you in your life. The challenge for most of us is in the “letting go” of what no longer serves us. Sometimes there’s so much debris in our lives that we are unable to clearly see how even just a slight trim in one area could create a dramatic, positive impact.

I, too, have been challenged with this in my life at times. Trimming the excess and making room for new growth is difficult for me as well. I will share with you that the most dramatic, positive change occurred in my life once I took this step. When I created the space to trim the excess “layers” from my life, real change began to show up for me.

How about you? Are you feeling like there are areas in your life that you would like to shed? Are there areas where you could “trim” away some of your time to create the space for something new? Not sure where to start? Here are some typical areas that you can take a look at in your life. (I invite you to sit in a quiet, peaceful place with your favorite cup of tea or coffee for this process):

1. Self-Care – How much time are you allocating to You? In my work with women, I often find that this essential practice is not anywhere in the layers of a woman’s life. It was a huge shift for me to make some years ago, however when I did this, it made a huge impact.

2. Spouse/Partner – Do you schedule regular date nights with your spouse or significant other? I find this one area can slip under the debris quickly and I have to trim back the layers and make space for it.  Also, if you don’t have a spouse/partner and would like that, are you taking some positive steps to bring that love relationship into your life?

3. Family – Are you spending quality time with children, parents, siblings? The key here is quality—really “being” with them. My husband and I schedule “date night” with each of our children and this has created a closer bond for us.

4. Friends – Do you find time to see your girlfriends? Make sure your girlfriends are “nutritious”—they inspire you, champion you and give you those big laughs. I really enjoy taking long power walks with girlfriends and “processing” life along the way.

5. Business/Career – Are you doing work that inspires and motivates you? When you leave your business or work, do you feel energized or drained from the day? This created a dramatic shift for me 8 years ago when I changed the direction of my life and began my work with women.

6. Community – Are you feeling “called” to do volunteer work in your community right now? Or, is it time to “trim” back the layers of your volunteer efforts and let someone else serve? We are nurturers by nature and tend to say “yes” too quickly. I invite you to take a look at this and see what feels right for you moving forward.

Now is the perfect time to do this exercise. Autumn is the time of year to shed what no longer serves us in order to create space for the new growth and new ideas that will arrive in spring. I invite you to create some time in your calendar before the holidays to trim back the layers of your life and peel away what no longer serves you. I think you’ll be surprised at how life embraces you when you give it the space to grow.

Anything is possible.  Everything is waiting for you.
*****

© 2010 Joy Chudacoff

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it:  Joy Chudacoff, ICF, PCC, is the founder of Smart Women Smart Solutions®, a Professional Certified Coach to 1000’s of women, Motivational Speaker, and Entrepreneur.  She publishes a weekly buzz generating ezine, Reflections On Life and Business for Women Entrepreneurs.  If you’re ready take your life and your business to the next level, get your FREE Tips, 2 FREE Reports and FREE MP3 now at  http://www.CreatingTheSpark.com .

As women, we can sometimes carry a heavy load of responsibility. We are nurturers by nature. We tend to say “Yes” more than “No.” Over time, some of the roles and responsibilities you take on no longer serve you well and can become “obstacles”. There have been times in my life that I’ve felt as if I was being held captive to some of the roles and responsibilities in my life. What are possible “obstacles” right now in your life?

*A job or career that no longer challenges or excites you
*A toxic relationship that drains your energy levels and provides no nourishment
*A health concern that’s keeping you from living your life fully

We begin to see these “obstacles” as a normal part of our lives. We develop a belief that we can’t shed these “obstacles” and we carry them around with us day after day. As I lay in that hospital bed, hour after hour, I became focused on one thing: freeing myself from the “obstacles” that were holding me captive. Over the next few days, I slowly shed each of the “obstacles” and began to feel confident that I would take control and be discharged from the hospital.

In order for you to live a life that is full of passion and on purpose, it’s essential that you take charge of your life and make decisions from a place of honesty and authenticity. Give yourself permission to identify what’s holding you back, what “obstacles” are holding you captive in your own life, and take steps to rid yourself of these.

Here are a few tips that I used in the hospital to rid myself of my own “obstacles.” I believe they can support you in your journey to living a life of freedom, passion, and purpose:

1. Identify your “obstacle” – what’s holding you back? Where’s the energy drain in your life right now? It’s important to identify exactly what you want to eliminate.

2. Visualize life without the “obstacle” – what might be possible? How will your life be better or different without this “obstacle” preventing you from having the life you want and desire?

3. Create a plan to make it happen. I made a plan to rid myself of those annoying pieces of equipment in this order: oxygen, catheter, sitting up, standing, walking, the IV. I decided this was the best (and easiest) way for me to reach my full freedom from the hospital. Create a plan that feels right for you – challenging but achievable.

4. Set an intention and share it with a nutritious friend. Tell someone. I told everyone who came to visit what my intention was, and I asked everyone to help me. Was it uncomfortable? You bet. Would I have rather stayed in bed at times? Yes. Would that decision have led me to my goal? No.

When the desire is there, the how-to will come.

On my last morning in the hospital, I was taking a walk and I saw a man being supported by his wife attempting to take his first steps after surgery. I had passed this man’s room before and I would always flash him a smile. He typically looked at me with an expression of “I want to walk, but I’m in too much pain.” I understood completely. I walked over to him and gave him the thumbs up and congratulated him on taking those first steps to shed his “obstacles.” He looked at me and said, “It’s so hard.” My reply? “Yes, it is. But it’s the only way out.” I invite you to think about shedding the “obstacles” in your own life. It truly is the only way to live!

Anything is possible. Everything is waiting for you.

*****

© 2009 Joy Chudacoff 

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it:  Joy Chudacoff, ICF, PCC, is the founder of Smart Women Smart Solutions(tm), a Professional Certified Coach to 1000’s of women, Motivational Speaker, and Entrepreneur.  She publishes a weekly buzz generating ezine, Reflections On Life and Business for Women Entrepreneurs.  If you’re ready take your life and your business to the next level, get your FREE Tips, 2 FREE Reports and FREE MP3 now at http://www.creatingthespark.com/ .

In my work with women, one of the most essential exercises that we do together is peel back the layers of their lives and take a look at what’s working and what’s not working. It’s important to take a look at each layer and if necessary trim the excess so you can live each day doing what’s most important to you in your life. The challenge for most of us is in the “letting go” of what no longer serves us. Sometimes there’s so much debris in our lives that we are unable to clearly see how even just a slight trim in one area could create a dramatic positive impact.

I, too, have been challenged with this in my life at times. Trimming the excess and making room for new growth is difficult for me as well. I will share with you that the most dramatic positive change occurred in my life once I was able to do this. When I created the space to trim the excess “layers” from my life, real change began to show up for me.

How about you? Are you feeling like there are areas in your life that you would like to shed? Are there areas where you could “trim” away some of your time to create the space for something new? Not sure where to start? Here are some typical areas that you can take a look at in your life. (I invite you to sit in a quiet, peaceful place with your favorite cup of tea or coffee for this process):

1. Self-Care – How much time are you allocating to You? In my work with women, I often find that this essential practice is not anywhere in the layers of a woman’s life. It was a huge shift for me to make some years ago, however when I did this, it made a huge impact.

2. Spouse/Partner – Do you schedule regular date nights with your spouse or significant other? I find this one area can slip under the debris quickly and I have to trim back the layers and make space for it. If you don’t have a spouse/partner and would like that in your life, are you taking some positive steps to bring that love relationship into your life?

3. Family – Are you spending quality time with children, parents, siblings? The key here is quality—really “being” with them. My husband and I schedule “date night” with each of our children and this has created a closer bond for us.

4. Friends – Do you find time to see your girlfriends? Make sure your girlfriends are “nutritious”—they inspire you, champion you and give you those big laughs. I really enjoy taking long power walks with girlfriends and “processing” life along the way.

5. Business/Career – Are you doing work that inspires and motivates you? When you leave your business or work, do you feel energized or drained from the day? This created a dramatic shift for me 8 years ago when I changed the direction of my life and began my work with women.

6. Community – Are you feeling “called” to do volunteer work in your community right now? Is it time to “trim” back the layers of your volunteer efforts and let someone else serve? We are nurturers by nature and tend to say “yes” too quickly. I invite you to take a look at this and see what feels right for you moving forward.

Now is the perfect time to do this exercise. Autumn is the time of year to shed what no longer serves us in order to create space for the new growth and new ideas that will arrive in Spring. I invite you to create some time in your calendar before the holidays to trim back the layers of your life and peel away what no longer serves you. I think you’ll be surprised at how life embraces you when you give it the space to grow.

Anything is possible. Everything is waiting for you.

*****

© 2009 Joy Chudacoff
 
WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it:  Joy Chudacoff, ICF, PCC, is the founder of Smart Women Smart Solutions(tm), a Professional Certified Coach to 1000’s of women, Motivational Speaker, and Entrepreneur.  She publishes a weekly buzz generating ezine, Reflections On Life and Business for Women Entrepreneurs.  If you’re ready take your life and your business to the next level, get your FREE Tips, 2 FREE Reports and FREE MP3 now at  http://www.CreatingTheSpark.com .

Over the last few months, I’ve been going through testing at UCLA Medical Center here in Los Angeles to determine if I might be a possible match to donate one of my kidneys to my husband, Greg. Greg has Polycystic Kidney Disease and one of the affects is possible kidney failure over time. His kidney function has steadily been declining and we’ve known for some time that this day would come. What we didn’t know until now, is that I am, in fact, a match! On Tuesday, December 1, we will go together to UCLA Medical Center where I will undergo a procedure to remove one of my healthy kidneys and Greg will receive that kidney so he can feel healthy, energetic and enjoy life to the fullest once again.

Why do I tell you this story? Because what I’m going through right now holds many similarities for women. Women love. Women give. Women have fears. Some days I want to go jump in my bed, pull the covers over my head, go to sleep and wake up to realize that this has been a bad dream. Do you think I’m scared? You bet. Do I have anxiety? Of course. Will I feel the fear and do it anyway? Absolutely. How do you feel the fear and do it anyway? I’m sure, as you are sitting here reading this, you are thinking about some fears that you have, right? And it’s possible that you haven’t been able to overcome that fear yet.

My definition of Fear is…
Feeling
Emotions
Appearing
Real

Because they are real—right? When you feel your own fear, it seems almost impossible to move through it. And this is what keeps you stuck and trapped.

What do you fear that keeps you from stepping into who you really are? Do you:

~Fear cultivating a loving relationship because of past hurt and emotional pain?
~Fear letting go of a relationship that’s toxic and no longer serves who you are?
~Fear leaving a job or career that you’ve outgrown long ago?
~Fear taking on the idea of starting your own business even though it’s always been a dream?

These are just a few of the “fears” that women may have at different times in their lives. Fear is natural, it’s healthy and it’s never going to go away. The key is to find solutions to “manage” your fear so that you can move through it. Fear is a natural partner to your creativity. Anytime you have a new idea (or in my case, a health crisis that needs to be handled) you have the opportunity to take the pieces of the idea or situation apart and make choices about how to move forward in a way that serves you and will be in your highest good.

Here are some of the ways that I’m “managing” my fear and doing it anyway:

1. Create an air-tight support system – I’m so blessed to have an amazing support system around me. By the way, it’s not by accident. I seek out positive, nutritious people to be a part of my life and my families lives. I’m intentional about decreasing the amount of toxicity and negativity in my life as much as possible.

2. Become “Curious George” – Recently, I had a very Smart Woman explain the difference between “healthy anxiety” and “unhealthy anxiety” to me. “Healthy anxiety” propels you into asking curious questions of people who can help you break down the fear barrier and move toward positive resolution. “Unhealthy anxiety” keeps you stuck and trapped—unable to move at all. Yes, I’m driving the doctors crazy with all of my questions and I’m sure my family is a little crazy with all of the planning I’m doing but it’s what I need to feel clear and calm.

3. Create a Vision of What’s Possible – Instead of focusing on the fear of not being able to do something, focus on what will be possible for you on the other side of the fear, once you conquer it and move through it. Think about how your life will open up to new beginnings once you take that first step.

What’s possible for me once my husband has a new, functioning healthy kidney? Our family can begin a renewed life and fully embrace living whole once again.

What’s possible for you once you feel your fear and do it anyway? Loving relationships, a Renewed life, a new business?

I share this article with you in the hope that you can take my current situation and look at your own life with a critical eye. Explore what’s holding you back in different areas of your life. Every time fear rears her head, use these solutions to help you move beyond your fear. I’m a woman just like you who loves, gives and feels fear…..and I’m doing it anyway. You can too.

Whether you’re donating a healthy organ to a loved one or making a decision to have more of what you want in your life and less of what you don’t, feel the fear and do it anyway. I’m doing it and you can do it too. I believe in You.

Anything is possible. Everything is waiting for you.

*****

© 2009 Joy Chudacoff
 
WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it:  Joy Chudacoff, ICF, PCC, is the founder of Smart Women Smart Solutions(tm), a Professional Certified Coach to 1000’s of women, Motivational Speaker, and Entrepreneur.  She publishes a weekly buzz generating ezine, Reflections On Life and Business for Women Entrepreneurs.  If you’re ready take your life and your business to the next level, get your FREE Tips, 2 FREE Reports and FREE MP3 now at http://www.ProfitsWithPassion.com .

When I was growing up, I don’t remember many conversations about values. I was told to always say please and thank you. Always tell the truth. Always be on time. Respect your elders. These were the basic “values” in our home. Good stuff to be sure, and ideas that I pass on to my own children today. However, the world has changed since I was a little girl. Women today play so many roles. We are creative beings with Big Ideas, Dreams, and Goals. We take care of our spouse or life partner, children, aging parents. We run large and small businesses. We are active in our communities. We are the “glue” that keeps everyone and everything together. (I went to visit my Mom and sister for a few days and before I departed, I handed my husband Greg a 3-page single-spaced document of what needed to be done over the course of 5 days to keep the family running smoothly!)

Women today need to create the time and space to think about what truly holds value for them. They need to know, commit, and practice these values. If you need some support in identifying your own values, I’ve included some ideas for you below:

1. Self-care – Do you take time to value and honor yourself? Spa days, lunch with nutritious friends–you know, gals who champion you and make you laugh. Quiet time just for you to journal, meditate, take a walk or exercise? This is typically the last thing women do–take care of themselves, so I’m putting it first on this list!

2. Couple – Do you make time for date night with your significant other? Time to re-connect is so important. When I get busy and overwhelmed with everything, this can be the area that I neglect. I take my husband for granted sometimes. The reconnection is so important (especially if you have children!)

3. Children – Do you have date night with your children? Greg and I started doing this recently and it has been a valuable experience. We take turns spending time with each of our children alone. Jack and I went to the Dodger game last week and the bond between us was strengthened so much just from that one outing.

4. Family - Having quality time with family is essential. I feel fortunate that both my parents are still living and in good health. Although the East Coast is their home, I make time to call and plan to get together as often as I can.

5. Business and Career – What do you value about your business? What’s the purpose or mission? Why did you start your business? What value are you providing to your clients and customers?

6. Community – What do you value about your community? Is there something that you are passionate about? Are you serving in some way that feels right for you?

In my Women’s Success Circles, we focus on values and what they mean to each woman. The six mentioned above give you a guideline to get you thinking about what’s important. Sometimes we know what they are and we can even verbalize these values. Do you commit to them? Do you practice them? That’s the bigger question. Women oftentimes will say “yes” to something because we want to help others. The challenge is it may not be something that’s on our “values radar screen.”

I invite you to think about what your values are. Know them. Commit to them. Practice them. You’ll feel so empowered, energized, and inspired when you do.

Anything is possible. Everything is waiting for you.

****

Copyright 2009 Joy Chudacoff

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it:  Joy Chudacoff, ICF, PCC, is the founder of Smart Women Smart Solutions(tm), a Professional Certified Coach to 1000’s of women, Motivational Speaker, and Entrepreneur.  She publishes a weekly buzz generating ezine, Reflections On Life and Business for Women Entrepreneurs.  If you’re ready take your life and your business to the next level, get your FREE Tips, FREE Report and FREE MP3 now at http://www.ProfitsWithPassion.com.