While driving along Sunset Blvd. a few days ago, I thought about a conversation I had earlier that morning with a friend about how difficult it is for some people to make a decision. This process can be a challenge and create a lot of anxiety. I’m not sure if people are aware that “sitting on the fence” when it comes to making decisions takes a serious toll on their energy levels and their lives.
I see many people struggle with decision-making. We live in the question in many areas of our lives—where to live, where to send our children to school, what kind of car to drive, who to vote for, should we go back to work or should we stay at home with our children, what to wear, where to eat. It’s exhausting, isn’t it? Why do we have such a difficult time making decisions? One reason might be that we care a lot about what other people think of our decisions. There was a time in my 20’s and 30’s where others’ opinions really mattered to me. I wanted to make the “right” choice so I could be with the “right” crowd. Today, in my 40’s, I make my decisions based on my own passion and purpose and what’s most meaningful to me. I ask myself if this decision will move my journey forward and, if it will, then I take action on it.
When you avoid making decisions, it takes a much greater toll on your life than you might suspect. “Sitting on the fence” between decision and indecision zaps so much energy from our body and soul. Imagine the energy and concentration that it takes every minute of every day by not making a decision for or against an idea or an action. It’s important to become clear about what you want in your life.
How about you? Are you “sitting on the fence”? Are you awake at night thinking about making a decision? It will be a challenge for you to step into your own truth, your authenticity, until you do. Until you fully jump off one side of the fence and declare yourself, you will always hesitate because you are unsure. This deprives the world of your unique gifts that you have to offer.
I invite you to create the space and time in your life as soon as possible to make a decision about what’s most meaningful to you right now. Grab a pen and a piece of paper. Look at yourself, family, career, community, and your friendships. Decide where and how you want to spend your time and who you want to spend it with. Design your life the way you want to live it. This is the core of my work with women—helping them to design and live the lives they choose to live. Decision-making becomes so simple. When a situation or possible opportunity comes up, you reflect on your values, your passion, and your purpose—all of your decision-making launches from this place, so it’s much easier to make decisions and not “sit on the fence.” It frees up your energy to enjoy all of the things that are most meaningful to you.
As I made the turn off Sunset Blvd. onto the winding road that leads to Will Rogers State Park, I began to see the long white fence that winds up the hill. My first thought was, “It’s a beautiful fence, but I sure wouldn’t want to sit on it for very long! That would be really uncomfortable!” Autumn is a fantastic time to do this work. Mother Nature begins to bring about change in a slow but deliberate way. Take a look at what might need to change for you. And then make a decision to “get off the fence.”
© 2008 Joy Chudacoff
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Joy Chudacoff is the founder of Smart Women Smart Solutions, a
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